Men’s Mental Health and the Performance of Strength

I’ve been thinking a lot about how many men are performing strength instead of actually being supported.

And I don’t mean that in a judgmental way. I think many men were taught very early that survival depended on emotional control. That vulnerability was dangerous. That softness, fear, confusion, grief, or emotional overwhelm had to be hidden in order to still be respected.

So a lot of men learn how to function before they ever learn how to process.

They learn how to provide before they learn how to communicate what they need.

They learn how to suppress before they learn how to feel safe being emotionally honest.

And eventually that suppression starts showing up somewhere else.

Sometimes it becomes anger because anger is often the only emotion society allows men to express openly. Sometimes it becomes emotional distance, isolation, overworking, burnout, shutting down, substance use, or feeling disconnected from themselves entirely.

I also think people underestimate how deeply loneliness impacts men specifically.

Not just physical loneliness, but emotional loneliness. The feeling of not being fully known. Not feeling safe enough to admit you’re struggling. Feeling like your worth is tied to what you can produce, provide, fix, or endure.

A lot of men are praised for being “strong” while quietly carrying things that are emotionally exhausting.

And honestly, I think there’s a difference between resilience and emotional suppression, but society often confuses the two.

Resilience is being able to move through difficulty while still staying connected to yourself.

Suppression is surviving by disconnecting from yourself completely.

That disconnect has consequences.

It impacts relationships. Sleep. Stress levels. Emotional regulation. Physical health. The ability to feel joy, connection, softness, or even rest without guilt.

Because if someone has spent years believing their value comes from how much they can endure, slowing down can start to feel uncomfortable. Even threatening.

I also think many men don’t lack emotions. They lack spaces where those emotions feel safe to exist.

And that’s an important difference.

A lot of conversations around men’s mental health focus only on crisis after things have already fallen apart. But mental health deserves attention before someone reaches a breaking point.

Support should not begin only when someone can no longer function.

It should exist in everyday life too:

• healthy friendships

• emotional safety

• community

• therapy

• rest

• honest conversations

• spaces where vulnerability is not punished

I think one of the most damaging things we teach men is that being needed is more important than being emotionally well.

Because eventually people can become deeply useful to everyone around them while privately feeling disconnected from themselves.

And no amount of productivity fixes emotional isolation.

This month is a reminder that men deserve care too. Not only for what they provide, but for who they are outside of performance, pressure, and expectation.

Because emotional wellbeing is not weakness.

And being honest about struggling is not failure.

It’s human.

Support Is Available

If stress, burnout, emotional heaviness, or isolation have been difficult to navigate, support is available. Counselling at Grassroots Health offers a supportive space to process emotions, build coping tools, and navigate life’s challenges without having to carry everything alone. To learn more or book an appointment, contact Grassroots Health.

Isolation & Loneliness the Difference Between Rest and Disconnection

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about isolation and loneliness, especially how easily it can blur together with the idea of “recharging.”

Sometimes being alone is necessary. Sometimes we genuinely need quiet, distance, and space to breathe after constantly being around people, stress, work, or expectations. Solitude can feel grounding. It can help us reconnect with ourselves, regulate our nervous systems, and slow down enough to actually hear our own thoughts again.

But I also think there’s a point where being alone stops feeling restorative and starts feeling heavy.

And the hard part is that the shift can happen quietly.

At first, it can feel like protecting your peace. Turning down plans. Staying home more. Taking longer to respond to texts. Wanting silence instead of conversation. Sometimes that’s healthy. Sometimes your body genuinely needs rest.

But other times, isolation can slowly become avoidance.

You stop reaching out because you’re tired. Then you stop because it feels easier not to. Days start blending. You convince yourself you’re “just recharging,” but deep down you feel disconnected from people, from yourself, and sometimes even from the life happening around you.

I think loneliness is something a lot of people experience more quietly than we realize. The Canadian Mental Health Association notes that loneliness is not always about physically being alone. Someone can still feel lonely while surrounded by people, notifications, conversations, or even community. Sometimes loneliness is emotional. It’s feeling unseen, disconnected, misunderstood, or too exhausted to fully engage with others.

And honestly, I think many people are carrying that right now.

Especially after years of stress, burnout, survival mode, overstimulation, financial pressure, and constantly having to push through. A lot of us are tired in ways that sleep alone cannot fix.

I’ve also realized there’s a difference between solitude that restores you and isolation that drains you.

Rest usually helps you return to yourself.

Isolation often makes you disappear from yourself.

One leaves you feeling more grounded after time alone. The other leaves you feeling emotionally flat, anxious, disconnected, or stuck.

Sometimes the signs are subtle:

• avoiding people you genuinely care about

• struggling to respond to messages for days

• feeling emotionally numb or mentally checked out

• wanting connection but not having the energy for it

• losing interest in things that once helped you feel good

• feeling safer alone all the time.

Research from the CDC also shows that social isolation and loneliness can impact both mental and physical health over time. Human connection plays a bigger role in wellbeing than many of us realize.

I don’t think the answer is forcing yourself to suddenly become social or productive overnight. I think it starts with honesty.

Asking yourself:

Am I resting right now, or am I withdrawing?

Do I feel restored after being alone, or do I feel heavier?

When was the last time I genuinely felt connected to someone?

I also think community matters more than we realize. Not even in a huge way. Sometimes the connection looks small. A conversation. A walk with someone. Sitting around people who make you feel safe enough to exhale a little. Healing isn’t always about learning how to be alone. Sometimes it’s learning how to stay connected without abandoning yourself in the process. And I think that balance is something a lot of us are still figuring out.

Sources & Further Reading

• Canadian Mental Health Association — Coping with Loneliness

• CDC — Health Effects of Social Isolation and Loneliness

Support Is Available

If feelings of isolation, loneliness, or emotional heaviness have been difficult to navigate, support is available. Counselling at Grassroots Health offers a supportive space to process emotions, build coping tools, and feel less alone in what you’re carrying.

To learn more or book an appointment, contact Grassroots Health.

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How Nature Reduces Stress and Improves Mood

Spring is here and so many of our clients have expressed joy at the turning of the season. Much of the reason for being happy about our warmer weather is simply having the chance to be outside. It’s more comfortable, Its easier to move around but most of all, it just feels good. 

But do you ever wonder why you feel so good after spending time outside?

It turns out, there is some science behind it and a name, Its called Ecotherapy and here is why it works to reduce stress and improve mood

It reduces our cortisol.

Cortisol is a stress hormone, It rises in response to stress and affects almost every tissue in the body. Like everything in life, in correct doses, cortisol is vital for our optimal functioning. The issue is that cortisol production can go into overdrive in our busy, hectic world. Studies show that 20-30 minutes reduces that cortisol production by “down-shifting” a division of our nervous system, which brings us to our related next finding. 

It regulates our sympathetic system.

When you immerse yourself in nature (think, parks, lakes, trails)—your nervous system shifts from sympathetic (“fight or flight”) dominance to parasympathetic (“rest and digest”) activity, lowering stress responses, heart rate, and blood pressure. This effect, often called the biophilia effect, is measurable: studies show that both walking in nature and simply viewing natural landscapes can decrease salivary cortisol..

It actually can make us kinder.

Nature might also make us nicer. Nicer to other people, to ourselves and to  the planet.

John Zelenski, PhD, a professor of psychology at Carleton University in Ontario, Canada, and colleagues showed undergraduates either nature documentaries or videos about architectural landmarks. Then the participants played a fishing game in which they made decisions about how many fish to harvest across multiple seasons. Those who had watched the nature video were more likely to cooperate with other players, and also more likely to make choices that would sustain the fish population (Journal of Environmental Psychology, Vol. 42, No. 1, 2015).

In another experiment, Zelenski and his colleagues found that elementary school children acted more prosocially to classmates and strangers after a field trip to a nature school than they did after a visit to an aviation museum (Dopko, R. L., et al., Journal of Environmental Psychology, Vol. 63, No. 1, 2019 

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If you needed some reasons to get outside, we hope you have them! Sometimes we don't have the time to spend outside that we would like. Studies show that "nature-like" activities can still have an impact

Here are some tips to getting your dose of nature

• Move your desk to a window if possible

• Bring nature to you! Invest in a variety of houseplants

• Watch nature landscapes or documentaries

• Take a 15-20 minute walk in a park

• Listen to nature sounds in the background when doing a stressful task